Bike Update

There's so much to report since Sunday, but to sum things up: it's been an emotional rollercoaster. Between all of the leads, coincindences, positive IDs and negative IDs, I'm exhausted. I went to bed on Tuesday night sobbing all over again. It was that gut-wrenching despair that can only be relieved by talking to my Mom, and so I called her. I knew in my head that the money would have to work out if the bike isn't found or if insurance doesn't cover it. It won't take months to pay for it, but years.

What I was more upset about was the disappointment in knowing that my dream time would not be realized in two weeks at the Whirlpool Half Ironman in Michigan without this bike. It felt so unfair to me, like my pride was stolen. I know that finishing a Half Ironman is a great accomplishment, but I've trained not only to finish, but to nail down a solid time near or even under 6 hours. My ride on that course last sunday was a glimpse into how fast my time could really be with the best bike.

My Mom, as always, said the perfect thing. "But, Lori, that bike was not your bike. It wouldn't be a true reflection of who you are if you got that time on that bike. Yes, it would be exciting and yes you would gain a new level of recognition, but this is all more than you ever expected." She went on to say she understands how hard it must be for someone who is so competitive to have that element of being the best in reach but then taken away. More importantly, though, she reminded me that it is always more important to be our true selves when faced with that challenge, rather than wanting to be someone else. If it was my carbon triathlon bike that was stolen, then, yes, that would be my identity taken as well. However, it was not. I was immediately calmed by her words and, just like that, I was able to reconnect with all of my hard work on my old bike and appreciating how far I have come from it.

As I write this, 2 more guys are in custody. It's very hard to say if anything will come of it, but I wanted to be sure to share the full circle of accepting myself in all of this. It will always be tempting to buy MY first carbon triathlon bike, and I know I will someday in the future because I do want to keep moving up as a competitor. However, the world will actually not come to an end if I race on my older road bike instead of a beautiful carbon triathlon bike. My time may reflect an extra 30-45 minutes, but the world will not come to an end. In fact, it will just remind me how far I've come in all of this training, in so many ways.